weapons

Remy: Straight Outta Homeroom

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Schools have zero tolerance for students as dangerous as this.

Written and performed by Remy. Produced and edited by Sean Malone.

Approximately 1:30 minutes.

Visit for downloadable versions and subscribe to Reason TV’s YouTube channel to get automatic notifications when new material goes live. You can follow Reason on Twitter at @reasonand follow Remy on Twitter at @goremy and on YouTube here.

To see more Remy/Reason TV videos, go here.

Lyrics:

Rolling into school with a deadly device
and every person in my path better take my advice
cuz if I ever draw my weapon you’ll be praying to Christ
and if you dare to double-cross me son you’re gonna get iced

I’m busting into your crib, got the basement locked
packing super-deadly weapons like a makeshift clock
you’re gone be hiding at night, pulling up your covers
keeping one eye open like you’re sleeping at the Duggars

I got a finger gun, oh wait I got another
waving “bye bye” as I drive-by brother
taking dead aim, it’s about to get gory
you ain’t been this scared of fingers since that time you turned 40

Because it’s over you lost and now it’s early retirement
like Keith Olbermann’s bosses all I’m doing is firing
a shotgun’s never been deadlier, most deadly by far
(unless you count calling the front seat of Ted Kennedy’s car)

Because I’m dangerous, there ain’t no debating this
killing people like a VA Hospital waiting list
Busting out my magic ring, it’s gonna do wonders
make you disappear like Scott Walker’s poll numbers

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28 Comments

  • Reply
    johnnybro13
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Why do you hate ted kennedy so much

  • Reply
    Logan Peterson
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    What does he have against the duggars I mean there not a particularly bad people

  • Reply
    sonny0888
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I own a Little Debbie myself. It's a real "sweet" shooter.

  • Reply
    Ice Cube
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    "killin people like a VA hospital waitin list"

  • Reply
    awesomeacademics
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    very clever. As a teacher I totally get where you are coming from.

  • Reply
    David Sommer
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    The Ahmed kid's clock really looked like a bomb.

  • Reply
    anon94707
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    how does this not have more views?? Hilarious 😀

  • Reply
    Americans Are Greedy
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Hahah what do you expect, Americans are fat, ignorant, fearful, and superstitious, they are barely sentient. Literally the majority of peoples intelligence level is around that of a dog.

  • Reply
    Major Ramsey
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I thought the weapon's manufacturer was Kellogg's.

  • Reply
    narmer44
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Goin' back to Cali? I don't think so…

  • Reply
    Russoft
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I can't believe these videos can't top 1 million views. Remy needs to be a celebrity!

  • Reply
    How Did you know
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    But it's just a pressure cooker, and Alahu Ackbar means I am praising the god of a peaceful religion! (Also, by "slay the unbeliever where you find him" means something completely different in classical arabic. It's too complicated to explain.)

  • Reply
    timeforce80
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I enjoy reason tv I do, but guys come on I thought you were smarter than this, the clock that kid built does ACTUALLY look like it could be a real bomb. the other stories however I agree with you.

  • Reply
    James Smith
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Basically schools are great at dealing with non-threats, but actual ones it's a disaster.

  • Reply
    Self Stirring Pot
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Need to have a contest for prizes of who can tinker any regular ever day use item to resemble a bomb and get on the news while loudly protesting that the stupid racist islamophobes detained you for having a can of soup that they thought was a bomb.

  • Reply
    codediporpal
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Had to resub to Reason based on Real Time appearance. Based on the comment section, your audience is a bunch of idiots and/or assholes, but hey that's pretty much every youtube channel.

  • Reply
    David James
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Never thought I would say this, but Remy's been played. Like a violin.

  • Reply
    Evee
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    You only get better Remy.

  • Reply
    blogegog
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I don't always agree with Remy (like this time, for instance), but he's always hilarious.

  • Reply
    ThE DuCk
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Stop institutionalizing public education .Cops are indoctrinating kids to a facist police state presence and criminalizing their behavior.Get the cops out of public schools it's not a crime to be a kid

  • Reply
    supersonic dickhead
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I am thinking only bombs in movies have a visible clock. May as well write BOMB on it.

  • Reply
    Frankie Tierney
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    The kid with the clock was a troll. He was told not to show other teachers, he didn't even build it he took it apart and repackaged it purposely suspiciously for attention and troll bait. Look into it.

    Media sensationalizes everything. And I'm hugely against government monopolized education.

  • Reply
    l337pwnage
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Epic.

  • Reply
    daxdigitalus
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    "Smith and Wesson. No wait, Little Debbie. I'm sorry"

  • Reply
    darkfall13
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I carved Bomberman standing on a bomb in 7th grade, I think I just triggered myself.

  • Reply
    Nicht Verfuegbar
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    This Achmet fucktard Clock bullshit was a total hoax. This little bastards intention was to make a fake bomb, not a clock, and fuck with everybody. His whole family is a bunch of muslim extremists who should have gotten deported years ago. Fuck this little shit and his whole fucking family. Teachers were right to call the cops on him. Sadly it make him some sort of hero because everyone is so fucking stupid. At least politicians supporting him exposed themself as total fucking morons once again.

  • Reply
    Buford T
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat.

    George Carlin

  • Reply
    Buffalo122333
    February 14, 2017 at 11:00 am

    I can't give this thumbs up because of including the Ahmed Mohamed bomb hoax.

  • Leave a Reply